Letters To You

wrywrybutterfly:

teyuss:

aries: angriest asshole award
taurus: number two and loving it award
gemini: superficial nervous wreck award
cancer: crybaby emotionpants award
leo: egotist extraordinaire award
virgo: petty perfectionist award
libra: indecisive “”“individual”“” award
scorpio: secretive bastard award
sagittarius: expert exaggerator award
capricorn: condescending parent award
aquarius: complete weirdo award
pisces: idealistic idiot award

SO ACCURATE…

So so SO accurate…

(Source: plushiekougra)

This is why I hate coming back to this town. Every time I’m here it’s like all these old feelings and insecurities and mindsets and memories come flooding back like someone let out a dam. All of a sudden I get really depressed because there are people that I miss that I hadn’t thought about for months and then all of a sudden all I want to do is see them again and know that they’re alright, but at the same time, I feel like all these feelings are super unhealthy because all of these people that I miss have drifted out of my life for good reasons and for most of them our parting ways was mutual and for the best for both of us. And when I’m at home, they don’t even enter my mind and everything is just fine and dandy and peachy keen, but then I get here and all these thoughts and places and smells and feelings come right back to where they were when I left and I can’t help but miss people I know I don’t really actually need to or want to miss, but I miss them all the same, almost desperately. Maybe it’s nostalgia for my old life which, with time, has taken to it a softer and more pleasurable light, even though I know that if I were to go back, I would remember why everything was so truly truly awful, or maybe it’s my heart is softer than I let on and even though all these people are people that I know are unhealthy relationships for me, I worry about them and hope that they’re happy all the same, or maybe it’s my ‘I want everyone who’s ever loved me to always love me’ complex acting up again. Regardless of the cause, I hate these feelings because I know that if I act on them it won’t make either of us feel any better and in the case of the people who still have feelings for me I’m just making it harder on them and being that bitch that won’t let them move on, but sometimes I just can’t help myself. It’s not that I want them back; I just suddenly get this desperate need to make sure they’re happy and doing alright and to make sure that I haven’t damaged them too severely because I feel like a terrible, horrible person when I think about them and what went on between us. Perhaps this is why I remove myself so intensely from everyone around, because any time I let myself truly engage in a relationship someone always gets hurt, and being hurt I can do, but hurting other people… I just can’t do it. No matter how much I hate humanity and how terrible and terrifying I find the human race and the world that we’ve created, I just simply cannot hurt people who I know really care about me even if I don’t feel the same way about them. I can’t. That’s my issue. So, to everyone that I’ve hurt, I’m sorry. I never meant for you to be hurt, I never wanted to hurt you, and I am truly sorry.